I want to be two people

I’m a mother of two young children. Every single day I feel I’m failing in one aspect or another. When I begin my day at 7:30am, I already feel the pangs of failure. My kids have eaten breakfast at daycare; it was up, rush out the door, with a quick kiss and hug, while someone else spends their day with them. Are they learning? Are they happy? When they begin school, will they be ready?
Then my brain switches to school. Time to teach, time to practice, time to reflect. Centres, quick assessments, integrated subjects, guided lessons. Lunch duties when I eat lunch outside, and sneak a quick message to check on my own children. After school meetings, planning, photocopying, organization, emails, etc. I pick up my children at 4:30, if I’m really lucky. (sometimes it’s back to work at 6:30 for a dance, activity night, meet the teacher, parent teacher) Then I try to spend time balancing play and learning (I don’t want them to face the struggles that I see on a daily basis). Then supper, baths, teeth, books, another quick kiss and hug, then I get back to my work. More planning, printing, laminating, emails, marking. I head to bed at 10 and then I repeat. My kids cry when I have to brush them aside to work. When Daddy takes them out on the weekends, and I can’t go because I have work to do. Even when I’m “off”, I’m failing. I feel like I’m being pulled in two, every single day. I want to be a great mom and I want to be a great teacher. But I can’t be both. I’m breaking.
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One thought on “I want to be two people

  1. This is my daily experience as well. Initially, I thought teaching was a very family-friendly profession but since having my first child (8 years ago) so much has changed. If I am “killing it” at school, I am missing something amazing at home… and vice versa. I am frustrated daily with myself because I can’t seem to do it all… isn’t that insane? There is NO work-life balance in teaching. And this has to change!

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